Answers: KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. PLATO: For the greater good. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads. EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

Things NOT to Say to a Police Officer : * Hey, you must've been doin' at least 125mph to keep up with me! * You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. * Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

*A priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined. The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens. He declares that he's been saved by divine intervention, so he's let go. The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade. He claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too. They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem..."

*Engineers think that equations approximate the real world. Scientists think that the real world approximates equations. Mathematicians are unable to make the connection…

If Operating Systems Were Beers…

DOS Beer : Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.

Windows 3.1 Beer : The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for apparently no reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.

Windows 95 :Beer A lot of people have taste-tested it and claim it's wonderful tastes like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most people will probably keep drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows 95 Beer and say they like it. The ingredients list, when you look at the small print, has some of the same ingredients that come in DOS beer, even though the manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew.

Unix Beer : Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to 64 oz. Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though they claim that all the different brands taste almost identical. Sometimes the pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have to have your own can opener around for those occasions, in which case you either need a complete set of instructions or a friend who has been drinking Unix Beer for several years.

Shete Rashmi V 3/9/79

Shrikant Menon 4/9/79

Archana Sankhe 8/9/79

Das Saumitra M 8/9/78

Pratiksha Kadam 11/9/79

Ritesh Parikh 16/9/79

Priya Fotedar 16/9/79

Salil Akerkar 17/9/79

Vardarajan Singan 18/9/79

Sonpar Vibhor 19/9/78

Kaushik Iyengar 26/9/78

Agrawal Alok 2/10/78

Meenakshi Matai 12/10/79

Arvind Bhat 16/10/79

Vaibhav Marathe 17/10/79

Onkar Gaitonde 19/10/78

Sathaye Abhijit M 22/10/78

Savitha Samu 24/10/79

Adnan Lokhandwala 26/10/79

Mridul Balaraman 26/10/79

Solanki Manish M 26/10/78

Deo Rashmi D 31/10/78

Nipul Shah 3/11/78

Nikitin Sethi 9/11/79

Satish Gholap 10/11/79

Harinarayan V. 12/11/79

Nigel Coutinho 19/11/79

Anuradha Rao 21/11/79

Kiran Seth 21/11/79

Nagda Milind K 23/11/78

Rakith T.K 24/11/79

Saldanha Jayant J 28/11/78

Bajpai Yash 29/11/78

Shah Naushil C 29/11/78

Arundhati Tamhankar 4/12/78

Arnab Roy 10/12/79

P.Himabindu 13/12/78

Gupta Shobhna S 14/12/78

Raviraj Mahatme 17/12/79

Fajandar Mudassir 22/12/78

From D13 we have